It’s October, Breast Cancer Awareness Month. A few years ago, I did a story on my masseuse and her trials and tribulations. At that time, she had just battled breast cancer but was struggling with its aftermath. Later, I heard she had passed away. I didn’t even know she had gotten sick again.

It was only recently that I realized that so many other people that I love have been afflicted with this illness.

Rather than posting infantile Facebook status updates, I think that sharing survivor stories is a better way to raise awareness for breast cancer prevention and its early detection.

I know Rachel Divine from A Small World, a social networking site, back when it was still cool to be a member. After several changes of the site’s ownership and management, a lot of us terminated our accounts but have maintained contact with other members through various Facebook groups.

Rachel was always known for her “girls”. She wasn’t shy about them and frequently put them on display. So it was quite a shocker when we found out that they were in peril when she publicly announced in February 2013 that she had breast cancer. She was diagnosed in October 2012.

My name is Rachel Divine. I am in my 40s.I am a yoga teacher and breast cancer ass kicker.

I have beenteaching yoga to super beginners since 2002. One of the first trainings I did was “Yoga of the Heart” for cancer and heart disease. I grew up with my dad and having a father who had four or five heart attacks and open heart bypass, it was my way of giving back. He was an angry man. I wanted to [help those who were sick to] avoid that at all costs.

He had a hard childhood being born in 1938 and Jewish. I was born in Puerto Rico, not in a war torn country.[Note: Rachel’s father was Czech, and her mother is Puerto Rican.]

Tell me about your lifestyle before you were diagnosed with cancer.

My lifestyle was pretty chill. I wasn’t much of a partier. I hated going out because I didn’t really drink. Drunks annoy me. And I had a sweet home. I could have a better time at home.

Did you workout often?

Did I workout? Well, not a lot. However, I lost a lot of weight the year before I was diagnosed. It was just falling off me. I looked fan-flippin-tastic! I mean I ate well, and I did teach yoga daily so I was very active. I lived in the tropics where it was easy to be active.[Note: Rachel was living in Panama when she was diagnosed. She moved back to California for treatment, and is still living in L.A.]

What were your stress levels like?

Before I was diagnosed with cancer, I had a couple of bad years, financially. I lost everything and had to rebuild from scratch in a new country.

I had property stolen from me in Costa Rica by a lawyer, but not before I signed contracts for my new place in Panama. That too became a stressor, a HUGE stressor. I was in the process of rebuilding my life, and the seller didn’t want to sell. The contract was already signed and he wanted to renegotiate. All the money I had put into a property (- my Plan B) was now back in court! Super stressful! And that was just the stress from Real Estate.

Remember, kids, the tropics are a sunny place for shady people!

Oh, and the guy I had been dating for a year… I found out his wife lived in another country. That sucked, and it crushed my heart. The bounce back was hard.

That sounds terrible! What was your diet like? Were you stress-eating? Did you drink or smoke?

Well, for a while, I was seriously broke. There were days, too many I don’t care to remember, that I ate Top Ramen for dinner. I am not bragging, but I discovered that Spam is hella yummy but mad salty. I understand how people love it. Back then, it was all I could afford.

Most of my adult life though, I ate pretty well. I was healthy-ish. I mean I wasn’t vegan, but I love to cook. Indian food is my specialty. There’s too much crap in restaurant food and I am allergic to some things. And, as I mentioned earlier, because of financial difficulties, money went much further if I cooked at home. Wh****en things got better, I went back to my regular diet. Salad, fish, and veggies.

Oh, but keep me away from my addiction: chips and salsa! I love them so much, I want to marry them.

I didn’t really drink a lot. A few drinks a month.

I smoked cigarettes when I was a teenager. I smoked pot then and still do now.

What were your eating habits like?

I didn’t and still don’t eat a lot of breakfast. I like to eat dinner early, but there were times when it was closer to 9pm. I can go all day without eating, which isn’t great, but it happens. It’s not because I am trying to lose weight. I just forget to eat.

How much sleep were you getting?

My mom always reminds me that I was never a sleeper. I never napped. Never slept in. I sleep six to seven hours a night. Seven, max. I wake up with the sun no matter what time I go to bed.

Describe your work.

I am a yoga teacher, not a yoga instructor. I teach people things they can do when they are home vs. taking a class and not knowing what to do to help yourself when I am not around. I have been teaching since 2002, full time-ish since 2008.

Rachel, doing what she does best, at Fundacíon Amigos del Niño con Leucemia Y Cancer (FANLYC) in Panama in May 2012.

Did you take holidays often?

Haha! I wish! I used to travel a lot. That stopped in 2009. Shift happened and vacations were a thing of the past.

Do you have a history of cancer in the family?

No history of cancer in my family. Heart disease, diabetes, obesity, yes. Cancer, just little ol’ me.

When and how did you learn that you had cancer?

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in October 2012. I had this lump on my right breast that I first noticed in 2007. It felt like a golf ball and was about the size of an eyeball. And I knew, from working with many cancer survivors, that lumps like what I had were not normal.

I did my mammogram like a good girl and the three doctors that saw it all said, “It’s fatty tissue, nothing to worry about."

The next year, the same thing.

In 2012, I did a thermagram. Then the doctor said, “Get an ultrasound.” I did. And then a biopsy. Then the diagnosis.

How did the doctor tell you?

A doctor didn’t tell me.

The doctor that did the ultrasound was a charismatic doctor. He said, “If it’s cancer, it is small. We go in, cut and sew up. No big deal. This is the most common cancer. Easy.”

When I went back a few days later, I went to the reception desk and said, “I’m here to see the doctor about my results.” She picked up an envelope and opened it, pulled out a piece of paper, put it back in the envelope, then handed it to me and said, “Have a nice day!”

So I was standing with this letter…The Letter in my hand… I decided not to look at it until I got home.

What was your reaction?

I videotaped myself. I have not seen the video in four years. I cry ugly. I was sitting at my dining room table. I pressed “record” and I opened the fucking envelope. A fucking envelope? This was how I was about to find out my fucking fate?!

Yeah, I was scared. And pissed. Spanish isn’t my first language, so I was really hoping to talk to a doctor vs. reading a fucking letter.

**When I opened it, it said, in Spanish: CARCENOMA DUCTAL INFLITRANTE. What the fuck does that mean?**It was in Spanish. “CARCENOMA DUCTAL INFLITRANTE.” It sounded awful in Spanish.

And it wasn’t great.

What were the treatments recommended and what did you choose?

In Panama, they said that no matter the treatment, they said 50% of healing is support. I did not have family in Panama, nor support. So I had to go back to California, a place I hadn’t lived in for 20 years, to live with my mom whom I hadn’t lived with since I was seven years old.

When I got to California, I was lucky to find a program for women with no insurance who had been diagnosed with breast cancer. I chose to have a lumpectomy and radiation. No chemo needed. I also took Tamoxifen.

Rachel’s girls in fine form, New Year’s Eve 2009.

The surgery was okay. Had a cool scar.

The radiation wasn’t as hard on me as it was for others I knew. It was a fast zap and I felt nothing. The hospital was trying out a new radiation technique that took three weeks instead of six.

What were feeling, the side effects?

The side effects were hot sweats, mood swings, no libido, hair loss, depression. Physically, radiation on my skin didn’t seem bad at first, but it was. I did not get as tired as I was told I would be. However, radiation is still plaguing me today.

I didn’t expect the constant changing of my skin on my right breast and the slow healing.

I had surgery almost three years later for a breast reduction/ reconstruction. Weight gain and radiation had made my boobs huge and shrink to the right. But s****even months after my second surgery and the wound hadn’t healed. The skin just wouldn’t seal. My plastic surgeon said it was like a nuclear bomb had gone off in my right breast and this was normal. Fucking great. No one ever said that radiation was going to be like a fucking nuke going off in my tit!

[Knowing what I know now], I probably would have thought twice about radiation. Or 500 times more.

Are you still undergoing any treatments?

The standard yearly mammogram. However, I am not sure what will happen when my insurance runs out.

Are you taking any meds?

Nothing the cancer doctors prescribed. I do take Vitamin D, iodine, and magnesium.

How often do you see your doctor?

I see a doctor about every four to six months.

It’s October, Breast Cancer Awareness Month. What message do you have for women re breast cancer?

Check your girls! Get a Thermagram.

**Not all cancer is a death sentence.**Medicine is amazing, but just because a doctor says this or that is needed, do your research. ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS! Bring someone with you in case you forget what to ask.

Laugher is the best medicine. Drown yourself in it.

50% of healing is support. Be sure to put yourself near loving people. Do what you need to do to not be scared alone.

Rachel with the love of her life, Zena Princess Dog-Warrior, in August 2012. Zena passed away last December 2016.

You got this. And you will be more amazing after it’s over.

This series is dedicated to Rose Capua, my masseuse, who passed away from breast cancer on January 21, 2014, and to all the brave women who are battling this illness now.