I woke up yesterday morning with a splitting headache. That had never happened to me before. Okay, not without ingesting lethal doses of alcohol the night before, but I was completely sober when I had gone to bed the other night.

As a matter of fact, I had gone to bed early because the electricity went out during the storm. Could it have been the kerosene from the storm lamp that I placed beside my bed?

My parents used to buy and sell antiques, and I love these lamps! We’ve used them since we were children and continue to use them today. (Internet file photo.)

Or maybe it’s because I woke up at midnight and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I read till four in the morning from the [Kindle](http://www.amazon.com/Kindle-Wireless-Reader-Wifi-Graphite/dp/B002Y27P3M%3FSubscriptionId%3D0G81C5DAZ03ZR9WH9X82%26tag%3Dzemanta-20%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3DB002Y27P3M “Kindle Wireless Reading Device, Wi-Fi, 6” Display, Graphite – Latest Generation") that I had just downloaded onto my iPhone.

Whatever it was, I awoke the next day with a murderous headache. I wouldn’t call it a migraine because, as I hear it described, a migraine is so intense that it is crippling. I wouldn’t know – really – because I hardly ever get headaches, unless, as I said, they are alcohol-induced, and I don’t even have those as often as I should, given the way I drink. So, no, I don’t think yesterday’s headache was a migraine, especially since I could still function, and even got busy in the kitchen and helped prepare lunch.

Of course, later on, when it intensified and wouldn’t go away, I launched into a full-scale panic attack. I rummaged through every drawer in the house and popped every pill I could find. When that didn’t work because I had gotten myself so worked up, I ate everything in sight.

And I mean EVERYTHING.

When I finally calmed down, it quickly sunk in – to my belly and thighs – that I had eaten everything. And I wanted MORE.

I put on a sweater, grabbed an umbrella, hailed a cab and, 20 minutes later, returned with a bag full of junk food. I was ALMOST tempted to get some pints of ice cream from Fog City Creamery but that was, figuratively AND literally, going too far.

(FYI, I spotted Tong Garden’s All Natural Cocktail Snack in the grocery aisles – so I guess they’re back – but I wasn’t there for that. I was out for anything that couldn’t be labeled “natural”.)

The next day – that would be today – I woke up feeling well, refreshed and rested.

And fat.

Has that stopped me from eating? Let’s see… I had about ten servings (of very small portions, or so I’d like to think) at lunch. That included rice. And potatoes. That was about an hour ago. I now have an almost empty box of polvoron beside me, and wrappers of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Oreos in the trash can.

Hmm… Strange things are afoot.

I don’t think I’d be wrong in surmising that this has stopped being about my ills of yesterday and is, instead, an altogether different manifestation of another panic attack, this time stemming from – egad! – going raw an entire month.

In other words, I’m storing for winter.

Okay, now that I’ve – rather publicly – worked that out (- I was only going to write about my freak headache), I’m going to stop now.

I must confess, though, that I am feeling very unhinged. (No shit, Sherlock.) And I can only blame this on having stopped working out regularly. How long has it been? One month? Two months? I forget now.

But Ken Asuncion, wise and not-so-old master at Krav Maga Philippines (KMP), posted this today:

And he’s absolutely right.

It has either been raining or I’ve been too knackered from not having slept or both and, gradually, I’ve felt myself slipping away from myself. And I feel even worse, now that my exceptions to my diet have become the rule. Ugh.

No, I’m not very proud of myself right now.

To be honest, the rains are a bit harder to deal with and ignore, but – feeling tired? I should know that once I start smacking people around and getting smacked in return, I’ll feel better than ever. It’s just a matter of getting my lard-ass out the door.

Right.

I wish that with that epiphany, I could tell you that I’ll be on my way to Krav Maga tonight. Not so, I’m afraid. I’ve got Kasbah’s grand opening tonight. Cocktails tomorrow night, followed by dinner. And, weather-permitting, I’ll be off to [Zambales](http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=15.3333333333,120.166666667&spn=1.0,1.0&q=15.3333333333,120.166666667 (Zambales)&t=h “Zambales”) Saturday to Tuesday.

Sigh.

I’m blaming this on inertia. Awaiting Deus Ex Machina-type of external force to spring me back into action. And that might be trying to get into a dress tonight. Or getting nudged gently back into the sea by whale watchers in Zambales.

Harpoon me now.