Things to do in and around Lisbon:

1. Join a walking tour to get your bearings. This was Rosan’s idea, which was totally inspired, and took the pressure off me having to play tour guide around the city. For only €15, it seemed like a bargain, except that, of all the billions of tours around the city, we managed to pick the one and only Baron Münchhausen tour.

First of all, the brochure said, “No reservation needed, just show up!” Where – it didn’t say. But every other tour on the brochure was meeting at the Hard Rock Cafe, so we turned up there with ten minutes to spare. At 9:59 AM (- the tour was at 10), I finally rang them up. “Oh, the meeting point is at Rossio Square. We’ll tell them to wait for you.” Gee, thanks. That information, including the map of where we were going, was given to us after the tour. Good thinking, Wonder Dog.

The tour was actually very interesting and informative, if only we could tell fact from fiction.

Strike 1: Our tour guide, Marta, told us that Fernando Pessoa suffered from multiple personality disorder, with each of his personalities writing and publishing their own books under their own names, with their own styles. While most of this is true, Pessoa did not , in fact, have multiple personality disorder. Rather, he consciously created those personalities and called them heteronyms, a word he invented to mark the distinction between his style of using different personas as opposed to merely writing under a pseudonym.

Strike 2: Rosan pulled aside one of the guides to ask her for her recommendation on which port to buy. The guide looked at her as if she had asked what time the next space shuttle was departing for Uranus. “Port is not from Portugal,” she stated matter-of-factly. Right. What were we thinking?! Of course, everyone knows port is from [Port Harcourt](http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=4.75,7.0&spn=0.1,0.1&q=4.75,7.0 (Port%20Harcourt)&t=h “Port Harcourt”). Er, no, that would be oil and gas. [Port-au-Prince](http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=18.5333333333,-72.3333333333&spn=0.1,0.1&q=18.5333333333,-72.3333333333 (Port-au-Prince)&t=h “Port-au-Prince”)? Did anyone ask for coffee?

Strike 3: We were walking down Alfama and I was testing my friend, Sud,’s knowledge of Lisbon since he claimed that he had lived there for many years. “What’s that?” I asked. “That’s the Sé.” “No, it’s not,” I said confidently, proud that I had actually remembered something from the tour. “That is the Igreja de São Vicente de Fora,” I said smugly. Sud rolled his eyes at me. “That’s the Sé , believe me.” I checked the guidebook. – That frickin’ frackin’ tour guide!

Okay, Rosan, just so that both of us know, Sud was right. That was indeed the Sé.

Sé de Lisboa or the Lisbon Cathedral.

That church outside the flea market, the one we wanted to see but was closed at lunch time? That was the Igreja de São Vicente de Fora.

Igreja de São Vicente de Fora.

Now we know.

So join a walking tour, if you must, but stay away from Inside Lisbon Daytrips & Walking Tours.

Seriously, to get your bearings, get a good map, locate all the Pracas a.k.a . Largos a.k.a. Squares (Praça do Comércio , Praça da Figueira , _Praça de D. Pedro IV _a.k.a. Rossio Square, etc.) and you’ll be able to walk to most “places of interest” from there.

Pay attention, in particular, to “the castle” (a.k.a. Castelo de São Jorge), because most everyone we met kept making references to it or using it as a landmark to direct us somewhere and, as usual, Rosan and I were clueless. We made it a point to finally visit it a few days before we were scheduled to leave. It was okay, but I wouldn’t say you’d be missing out on a great deal if you didn’t see it. Just know where it is and be able to identify it from afar so that, well, er, you can get your bearings and you have an idea of where it is when people refer to it.

Look out for the miradouros (viewpoints) for excellent views of the different bairros. Except maybe for the Miradouro de Santa Catarina unless you’re after good views of antennas and satellite dishes, or are out to score some hashish. (It can’t be a coincidence that the place to have a drink around the area is called “Pharmacia”.)

The lovely view from Miradouro de Santa Catarina.

FYI, all drugs have been decriminalized in Portugal.

2. Explore Bairro Alto. During the day (when the shops are open) and at night (for the bars and the clubs). Because it was just across the street from our apartment, we took it for granted and didn’t get to see enough of it. Grrr…

3. A visit to Belém is a must. It’s a bit out of the way but, once you get there, it’s an easy walk from _Mosteiro dos Jerónimos _to the Torre de Belém.

Torre de Belém.
_

I think that the way we went about it couldn’t have been more perfect.

It was after hours so everything was closed but, as the sun started to set, the colors it threw against the sky and the Rio Tejo were simply amazing. We sat on the waterfront, watching boats go by. Lovers, joggers… With a nice, chilled rosé in hand, we had the best view of the sky that was, at first, a fiery orange, then a light kiss of pink, then a subtle shade of purple. It was stunning. And, all the while, we could see the Padrão dos Descobrimentos (Monument to the Discoveries; this is where the likes of Vasco de Gama set sail), with the Ponte 25 de Abril in the background and a lighthouse in the foreground.

And seeing the Mosteiro dos Jerónimos all lit up at night was quite magical. I didn’t feel the need to go back to see it during the day and take a tour inside, but Rosan eventually did.

4. Listen to fado in its birthplace, at Alfama. I cannot remember why Thursday was supposed to be the night to do this, but I got sick and we didn’t have reservations anyway – which, apparently, are a must – so we ended up going on a Friday instead. We chose Parreirinha de Alfama on someone’s recommendation (- I, again, forget who, but thank you very much!) and, according to the guidebook, it’s supposed to be “owned by fado legend, Argentina Santos”.

What I liked about it was that the performances weren’t over-the-top and in-your-face. They turned off most of the lights when the singers came on (- you’re not supposed to talk while they are singing, although they sometimes encourage the audience to sing along), but they only do – maybe three songs? – and then it’s another ten or fifteen minutes before the next singer comes on. So you do have time to concentrate on your meal. (I totally recommend the seafood rice. And ask for extra coriander. Absolutely fantastic!)

And since these were all professional fado singers, their voices were beautiful, haunting and soulful.

Next time, I’d like to check out one of those open-mic fado places which, I can imagine, might be the Portuguese version of live karaoke hell, but I would have to be massively inebriated for that.

5. Even though I’m an agnostic and do not care for organized religion, I love old churches and Lisbon has some really beautiful ones. My favorite is Igreja de São Domingos. I’d tell you the story behind it (- it involves an earthquake, a massacre of former-Jews-turned-Christian, and a fire), but I’m afraid it may not be entirely accurate. Check it out nonetheless. The interiors are quite dramatic.

Igreja de São Domingos.

We also had the most wonderful luck of walking into the Igreja de Santa Catarina on a Sunday morning while a Mass was going on and I thought it was a lovely thing to witness. They were at the “Peace be with you” part and people were either shaking hands, kissing or hugging. Much like families do in the Philippines.

[IMAGE: IMG_9219 | http://www.gaiolivares.com/.a/6a01538e92ee33970b017743e5d8de970d-800wi]
Igreja de Santa Catarina.

6. I wasn’t particularly in the mood for museums on this trip, but we did go to one that I thought was worth it. The Calouste Gulbenkian Museum. What made it interesting, for me, was that they’d show all these objets d’art and then they’d have a photo of where it was displayed in Gulbenkian’s home in Paris.

We’re talking huuuuuuuge Persian carpets here (- plural not singular, mind you) and marble statues. He had this one massive couch that I thought would look great in my play room in Siargao. Please see picture below:

On his first floor landing. Right-ho.

Hell, we could have used that couch when we were lugging our bags down the stairs from Funky House IV. Oh, wait, we didn’t have enough room for a stool on that landing.

So it became a running gag between Rosan and me. She would ask, “Where do you think he put this,” pointing at some massive, horribly expensive thing, and I’d say, “There’s a new chamber maid. She’ll need a Ming vase, for sure.” Or I’d announce, “Honey, I just got back from Egypt and they’ve excavated this something or other from some time after tea, B.C. I’m pretty sure Jesus never saw it. Should we put it in the lavatory?”

I wonder how Gulbenkian or his wife could relax at dinner parties without worrying about someone spilling something on the rugs. And what do you give a guy like that for Christmas? Your spleen? Because I’m pretty sure that an “I love Lisboa” keychain won’t cut it.

Okay, so maybe you might not have the same experience we did going through this museum, because I got a comedy sketch out of it and all I really need is an audience of one (- sometimes, not even) and Rosan and I were cracking up the whole time.

Rosan was so intrigued by this Gulbenkian character that she bought a book. According to the brochure, he was Armenian and a pioneer in the oil industry. He moved to Portugal in 1942 to escape the war, and died there in 1955. His heirs now run his foundation and, on my next trip to Lisbon, I’d like to see the collection of Portuguese modern art that they’ve accumulated. We didn’t have time for it on this trip as it was closing time and we had some shopping to do at El Corte Ingles around the corner.

Oh, you can give the MUDE (Museu do Design e da Moda) a miss. They have more interesting things happening in design elsewhere in the world. And there are other, more interesting things to do in Lisbon.

7. Do a day trip to Cascais and Sintra. Actually, the jury is out on Cascais. Rosan said she could have skipped it. I didn’t mind it. Of course, the beaches can’t compare to the ones we have in the Philippines but it was just interesting to see. Ideally, this is how we should have done it:

• Get an early start. Which we didn’t. As usual.
• Quick coffee at the balcony of Hotel Albatroz for good views (and pictures) of the beach. Accent on the “quick”. We were delayed by the free WiFi.
• Grab some breakfast at Sacolinha but, if you’re pressed for time, you can give this a miss.
• Get good directions to _Casa das Histórias Paula Rego _and see the damned thing.

The Casa das Histórias Paula Rego. (Internet file photo.)

One of Paula Rego’s works. Here’s an interesting interview she did with The Telegraph. (Internet file photo.)

This is where I failed miserably because the map I had was shit and we ended up getting lost and walking all the way to Boca do Inferno instead. Which was pretty damned far.

“Where in the world is Paula Rego?” Getting lost in Cascais. (Photo c/o Rosan Cruz.)

• Hitchhike to Boca do Inferno , although I really didn’t mind the walk going there.

• Then hitchhike back into town.

• Then hitchhike back into town.

[IMAGE: 555054_10151141188160439_503229251_n | http://www.gaiolivares.com/.a/6a01538e92ee33970b017616f9c452970c-800wi]Walking back, I did mind. (Photo c/o Rosan Cruz.)

• Grab an ice cream at Santini’s, before catching the bus to Sintra.

By the time we got to Sintra, it was pretty late so we only had time to see the Castelo dos Mouros (Moorish Castle) and the _Palácio Nacional da Pena (_Pena Palace) but, knowing what we know now, this is how we should have played it:

• From the train station, take Bus #434 to the city center for a quick lunch.
• Then walk (15 minutes was what we were told it would take) or catch a cab to Quinta da Regaleira.
• Back at the city center, catch the #434 to the Castelo dos Mouros.

• Again, get on the #434 to Palácio Nacional da Pena. FYI, the Moorish Castle is the Portuguese Mini-Me of the Great Wall of China, and climbing the walls can be exhausting so, at the Pena Palace, conserve your energy and pay the €3 for the tram ride to and from the Palace.

• And then hire a cab to the Convento dos Capuchos , pay for it to wait, and then take it back to the station to catch the train back to Lisbon.

I’m not sure how realistic or feasible this itinerary is but, well, at least, I still have a few reasons to visit Cascais and Sintra in the future. I’d also like to make it to Guincho and Cabo da Roca, but I’m not quite sure how to manage that without joining a tour or hijacking a car.

As I mentioned in my previous entry, make sure to get the combined train-and-bus pass at the Cais do Sodré station. It’s definitely worth it. The train from Sintra to Lisbon will deposit you at the Estação Central (a.k.a. the Rossio Railway Station).

I’ve compiled about seven pages of recommendations people sent me on what to do, where to go, etc. in Lisbon. There are, at least, three other clubs that I wanted to check out and an endless list of restaurants that I wanted to try. But the best way to see Lisbon, really, is to not have a plan. Walk around, get lost, wander into small shops and restaurants… Take it easy and have a wonderful time!

Muito obrigada to everyone we met over there who took us around and made our stay special! And a big thank you too to the ones we didn’t get to meet but sent their recommendations!

One last thing: Even if you’ve checked-in online, make sure you get to the airport early. The Lisbon Airport is HUGE. You’ll notice that on your way in. (It’s a loooong walk from the plane to immigration.) So remember that on your way back. And, no, they do not have trolleys for your carry-on luggage. Rosan had to deal with her tax-back thing, while I just had to use the bathroom. We were practically the last ones on the plane. One of the airline personnel told me to run but, of course, I was in my high-heeled wedges and was weighed down by very heavy

I, obviously, made it, but getting on a plane shouldn’t be so stressful. 😉