21 April, Monday

I reduced my coconut oil intake to four capfuls a day. It still makes my stomach ache but it’s not unmanageable.

Our building manager heard about the trouble I had with trespassers over Easter and now he’s put up a massive “No Trespassing” sign out front.

I can’t believe I’ve already had my “Get off my lawn!” moment.

Shoot first, ask questions later" is a policy I’d like to adopt.

Breakfast was bacon and eggs and the leftover vegetable biriyani. Lunch was an avocado shake. And I swear I was going to skip dinner when I got an unexpected visit from our Austrian friends, Christoph Schiessl and his father, whom Nicolas and I visited in Austria a few years ago. They invited me to join them for dinner at Kalinaw, so I went.

Pierre, one of the owners of Kalinaw, has forever been lamenting how everyone always orders pizza at their place when there are a lot of other good dishes on the menu. So, tonight, I thought I’d give the Campagnola di Parma a rest (and have Christoph’s father order it) and give their dinner specials a try. I chose the “chicken and pork fusion with wasabi sauce”. I’m not a big fan of wasabi but Fred, the other French owner of Kalinaw, assured me that the taste was very mild. When my dish arrived, we all laughed. There was one small piece of chicken on a large rectangular plate with two balls of rice on either end. While it was delicious (the chicken was stuffed with pork but, oddly, it had absolutely zero taste of wasabi), we all thought that the portion was too small for a main course. No wonder nobody orders the specials.

Christoph and his father were kind enough to share their pizzas with me. (I had three slices.)

Drinks: White wine at Kalinaw and red wine at Kawayan, where the boys smoked a shisha after dinner. No, I didn’t smoke. I’m not a fan of flavored tobacco. I find the sickly sweet smell nauseating.

Exercise:

• Swimming
• 60 squats. No more pain in my legs. I should increase my reps soon.

22 April, Tuesday

Breakfast was a fruit bowl with kefir.

Then I went to Sagana to massage one of their guests.

I hit it off with Michelle right away. We kept chatting and laughing while I was massaging her that I finally had to shush her up so that I could concentrate on what I was doing. After the massage, she offered me a glass of red wine before I went home.

• It went straight to my head and I struggled while I did my laps.
• I was already dressed for dinner when I remembered to do my squats. I only did 20 because I didn’t want to get all sweaty.

It’s was the eve of Mark’s birthday and he celebrated with a big dinner at Buddha. Guess who had first pick of the food? It was awesome. Jamaican David, Fleur and Mark laid out an incredible spread. The lechon was nice and spicy, setting it apart from other lechons on the island. They had a massive grilled mahi-mahi , which was very tasty. There was sushi, and potato salad, and Cajun chicken wings… I ate it all.

Elsa noticed that my teeth are whiter. I can only guess that that’s from the oil pulling. Yay!

Drinks: A lot of red wine and some Jagermeister shots.

The party continued at Tattoo. When they started tossing people in the air, I took that as my cue to exit stage left.

23 April, Wednesday

I had been noticing a lot of posts on my Facebook newsfeed about how hot it was in Manila. I had almost forgotten it was summer and was wondering when the heat would arrive in Siargao. Well, it arrived today. It’s too hot to go outside. (Thank the gods for online shopping!) Even the dogs don’t want to go out. I have the aircon and the electric fan on full blast inside my room and it’s still hot.

Breakfast was a fruit bowl with kefir. Then Nicolas arrived and we had a pako (fiddlehead fern) salad with salted egg for lunch. Dinner was at Kawayan. Christoph and his father had caught a sailfish that morning and wanted to share it with us for dinner.

Christoph with his catch. (Photo c/o Christoph Schiessl)

I knew French David, the owner of Kawayan Resort, would have a difficult time preparing the fish.

I think Nicolas and I were the only ones who regularly had sailfish on the menu when we still had a resort. None of the other resort owners liked it. It was too tough. Too meaty.

Sure enough, after Nicolas visited David in the kitchen, he proposed that we order something else because David had shown him the fish, made him feel how tough it was, and was at a loss as to what to do with it. It’s a good thing Christoph insisted that we wait and see what David could come up with because David ended up serving us one of the best meals to ever come out of his kitchen.

He started with raw sailfish, pan-seared in pepper and sesame seeds. With a bit of wasabi, it was perfect.

For the next dish, he chopped the fish into tiny cubes, sautéed it in some sweetish sauce and served it over rice. It was lovely.

The last dish was a simple, pan-fried fillet. It was delicious but unremarkable after the last two dishes.

Sailfish is meaty. If we had done a blind tasting of the first two dishes, I’m sure that we would have thought it was pork. But if prepared properly, it can be wonderful.

For dessert, we shared a creme brûlée and a pineapple tart, both of which were very good. We drank white wine throughout dinner.

Exercise:

• Swimming
• 60 squats

24 April, Thursday

Today, I only took one capful of coconut oil because I was going to the market in the morning. It was so hot, I could feel the heat rising from the ground while on the back of a speeding motorbike.

We had Christoph and his dad over for lunch today. We had paella, an avocado salad and crepes.

After lunch, I ducked back into air-conditioned safety while Nicolas gave our guests a golf lesson.

We skipped dinner and just had some green juice while we continued watching “House of Cards”.

Exercise:

• No swimming
• 60 squats

25 April, Friday

Back to taking four capfuls of coconut oil. I think my body might be used to it already. No belly ache this morning.

I had a fruit bowl for breakfast (with no kefir; it finally went bad) while Nicolas had a green juice. For lunch, we had some fried fish and a green salad. Dinner was a green juice.

We watched “House of Cards” the whole day, only taking a break to eat and have a massage, until we finally finished the first season. We are most definitely hooked.

Exercise:

• Swimming
• 100 squats

26 April, Saturday

Had a green juice in the morning. Then a lemongrass-green tea water. An avocado for lunch. And then, because I was tagging along to Nicolas’ business meeting at Kalinaw, which meant the possibility of a very late dinner, I had some crepes after my swim to tide me over for the evening.

At Kalinaw, having learned my lesson from the last time, I ordered two main courses: the stuffed squid, and the herb encrusted fish with coconut risotto. (One first-time guest whispered to me, “I ordered the P500 main course, not the kiddie meal!”)

The squid was stuffed with rice and chorizo and was very good, but it was served with more rice, which was redundant. A bit of mango salsa would have been better.

The fish was just okay. I didn’t like the risotto because I found it too sweet.

For dessert, I had the mango tatin, which was excellent.

Exercise:

• 100 squats
• Swimming

When we got home, Nicolas and I watched the first episode of season two of “House of Cards”. And what an episode it was! The show is very Shakespearean, isn’t it? With Kevin Spacey’s character, Frank Underwood, breaking the fourth wall and addressing the audience directly, as Iago did in “Othello”. And it looks like it’s going the way of Shakespearean tragedies as wel.

27 April, Sunday

Tried six capfuls again today. This time, there’s no more belly pain. Yay!

While I was oil pulling, I did:

• 20 bent arm lateral raises – 3 kilos each arm
• 20 tricep kickbacks – 2 kilos each arm

Had bacon and eggs with Nicolas (- no rice for me!) and then we watched two more episodes of “House of Cards” before he had to leave for his flight back to Cebu and I left for Sagana to practice massage on Hippie, British resident of Siargao who owns Hippie’s Surf Shop. While waiting for her to arrive, I had a bite of more sample cupcakes that were sent to Susan. Because they were already a few days old, I just took a bite of one and didn’t eat the rest. I didn’t want to waste the calories.

Two of Gerry’s mates, regular visitors to the island, Gary Yealland and Dave Willmette, arrived today with the chocolates I had them buy for me: Cadbury’s Marvellous Creations, which is made in Australia. I gave them instructions not to buy anything with jelly beans, marshmallows or Gummi bears (- is it obvious that I don’t like rubbery candy?) so I ended up with just this:

Which is fine. But I’ve had it before and I was hoping to get to try the new flavors: Cola Pretzel Honeycomb, Cookie Nut Crunch, Banana Candy Peanut Drops Choco Biscuit, and Banana Caramel Crisp. And I don’t even like milk chocolate but these are damned good!

• Went swimming then skipped dinner.

28 April, Monday

• I finally took out my bike and braved the heat. Was oil pulling while biking, which meant I couldn’t greet the villagers or sing at the top of my lungs. Where’s the fun in that?

It’s as if a whole beach was just dumped on our road. To fill in the holes caused by those damned trucks that go by everyday, no doubt. The sand is very loose. I don’t mind. It makes that stretch more of a challenge on the bike.

Was so exhilarated by the ride that I went straight into the following when I got back to the room:

• 100 squats
• 20 bent arm lateral raises
• 20 tricep kickbacks

Then I tried to put on my John Scott DVD of Ashtanga yoga, only to find it scratched beyond hope. I tossed it and downloaded Kino MacGregor’s “Primary Series”.

Took six capfuls of oil and the belly pain is back. Boo.

Hosted lunch with the Swedes: Peter and Elsa and their daughter, Elise, plus Dick Annerberg (owner of Tiki Bungalows) and his Filipina partner, Riza. I served fully-loaded hasselback potatoes (with bacon, cheese, sour cream and chives) and chili con carne. With a bottle of red wine that Elsa brought. It was awesome. Everyone was too full for dessert.

• Went swimming after they left.

I could no longer ignore the chocolates in the fridge and nibbled on a bit after my swim.

29 April, Tuesday

In the morning, I did this:

• Biking
• 100 squats
• 20 bent arm lateral raises
• 20 tricep kickbacks
• Surya Namaskara A and B with Kino MacGregor

Sigh…

The maid had the morning off so I had the leftovers: half a fully-loaded hasselback potato and chili con carne with parsley-buttered rice. So good. I also had a bit more chocolate.

I finally let the dogs in the room and they slept in the bed with me while I started season three of “Revenge”.

SPOILER ALERT. Okay, I know I’ve spent too much time watching this show but I do not, in any way, endorse it. The plot line is ridiculous and, sometimes, especially during the flashbacks and their failed attempts to make their characters look younger by employing the most hideous wigs, I almost expect the episodes to come with a laugh track. I started watching it out of boredom and curiosity. (I wanted to see how Madeleine Stowe was aging and I must say that she is still gorgeous and bravo for her character having more sex than anyone else on the show!) I didn’t think it was possible but I got even more bored and couldn’t get past the fifth episode. Then I gave it another chance and I liked the Nolan Ross character and the clothes got more and more interesting. I was going to stop watching after the second season but I’m glad I didn’t. The men are in fine form and there is added eye candy. And the clothes are better than ever. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a ridiculous show. For instance, for some really rich people, they sure have lousy security with people swanning in and out of each other’s homes unannounced and unescorted. And that whole Mason Treadwell storyline is just idiotic beyond belief. And her supposed ‘final takedown" was so ill planned – after her previous spectacular takedowns – that when Emily Thorne grabs a gun and announces that she’s just going to shoot the lot of them, you have to wonder why she didn’t do it in the first place. She could have saved us three seasons of nonsense. Now she’s’ back to the drawing board and I’m not sure if all the fab outfits in the world can still save this show.

• Swimming.

No dinner.

30 April, Wednesday

In the morning, I did this:

• Biking
• 100 squats
• 20 bent arm lateral raises
• 20 tricep kickbacks
• 20 wall push-ups
• Surya Namaskara A and B with Kino MacGregor

When I got to Sagana, they had just finished baking some bread. The girls in the kitchen cut me a bit of the crusty end of one and I had it with butter. I was practically swooning. Nothing like butter melting on freshly baked bread.

I massaged Gerry before lunch, then his mate, Gary, later on in the afternoon.

Lunch was the paella that I brought. I also brought over some crepes, but that was for the Degan family. Sue shared some of her dakr chooclate stash with me though. And I treated myself to a Magnum on my way back home, and to more chocolate later on in the evening.

Every time I am in town, I go to Maridel’s to check if they have Magnum Golds but they never do. Fleur said that I should stop telling people about them so that they don’t keep running out. I never had them again after that one time.

• Swimming.

In the evening, I remembered that I had forgotten to take my daily dose of coconut oil so I took six capfuls. For the first time since I started oil pulling, I was nauseated by the smell and taste of the coconut oil. Blech. Yuck.

1 May, Thursday

I still did the oil pulling but I didn’t take any coconut oil. I’m not in the mood for it today. In fact, I’m not in the mood for anything today. I had a rough night and didn’t sleep much. I didn’t want to bike or to exercise.

I had longganisas and scrambled eggs for breakfast, then went back to bed. But not before I took with me the rest of the chocolate bar that I had been nibbling on the past few days. I finished the rest of it and felt even worse.

In the afternoon, I felt better and made up for my lack of activity by doing the following:

• Swimming
• 100 squats
• 20 bent arm lateral raises x 2
• 20 tricep kickbacks x 2
• 20 wall push-ups x 2
• 20 leg raises x 2
• Surya Namaskara A and B with Kino MacGregor

2 May, Friday

In the morning, I did these:

• Biking
• 100 squats
• 20 bent arm lateral raises x 2
• 20 tricep kickbacks x 2
• 20 wall push-ups x 2
• 20 leg raises x 2
• 20 chest presses x 2 – 3 kilos each
• Surya Namaskara A and B with Kino MacGregor

Then Fleur and Jamaican David came over for lunch. We had the aubergine-pork patties and avocado with crab meat served with fresh mayonnaise. We ate till we were full to bursting. While we were waiting for dessert (crepes), Fleur found my chocolate stash, so we devoured another bar. (I have three more left.) They are now new fans of Cadbury’s Marvellous Creations.

Drinks: White and red wine.

• After they left, I went for a swim.

In the evening, I got a craving for the leftover chili con carne. I found it and had it with a mound of rice. Doh!

I’ll go back to having one meal a day tomorrow.

3 May, Saturday

I don’t understand why, no matter what time I sleep, I wake up around 6 AM! Sometimes, it’s around 6:30 but, sometimes, like today, it’s at 5:57. ARGH. It’s a good thing that today was one of the rare occasions when I was able to go back to sleep. I woke again at around 8:30.

• Went biking. But was too lazy to do anything else.

Had bacon and eggs. And rice. Eek.

Went to Sagana in the afternoon to massage Kim, the only foreigner participating in the women’s surfing comp. While waiting for her, I took a chocolate bar from Sue’s fridge. Gaaah!

• Swimming
• 100 squats

I was playing music in the room and this tune came on that got me dancing. I jumped around like a mad man. My dogs woke from their slumber and looked concerned at first, which quickly gave way to alarm. One of them was so dismayed that it began barking. The poor thing. It’s only figured out that its mistress is stark raving bonkers.

4 May, Sunday

This morning, I did these:

• Biking
• 100 squats
• 20 bent arm lateral raises x 2
• 20 tricep kickbacks x 2
• 20 wall push-ups x 2
• 20 leg raises x 2
• 20 chest presses x 2
• 20 bicep curls x 2 – 3 kilos each

If you’re wondering if doing all that has resulted in weight loss, I can ssure you that it hasn’t. I think it’s just preventing me from getting any fatter than I already am. Ugh.

I wish I could say that I didn’t eat but I was at the Mactan Airport en route to Manila where I spent a small fortune on food. Which included a Magnum Gold.

And my mom is expecting me for dinner so, yes, I am still eating.