Before I left for Sweden, one of my Swedish friends sent this to me so that I could consider myself duly warned:

I’m not sure that I had an occasion to observe any of that, but I did notice two things:

1. That the Swedes remove their shoes inside their homes. I thought that this was a practice unique to Asia (- although no longer in the modern Filipino home). In Sweden, however, when invited to, say, a dinner party at someone’s house, women may bring a pair of high heels that they do not wear outside the house, and change shoes when they get to the party. One hostess offered me a pair of knitted “shoes”. They looked like little tents and I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to wear them over my shoes, but since I was already in the process of removing my trainers when she handed them to me, I just slid my feet into them and puttered about the house that way.

2. While it is customary, in the civilized world, to bring one’s dinner host a small gift, maybe some dessert, or some flowers or wine, it would seem that, in Sweden, they put a lot more thought into it. At the same gathering I went to (- I can’t say I was invited since I was really just tagging along), my friend’s mother and godmother both brought big-ass gift-wrapped presents for our hostess. They had blooming bows, for god’s sake! I thought it was the hostess’ birthday! She even opened her presents in front of everyone, like celebrants do on their birthdays. I felt like the most ungracious guest, having arrived empty-handed – and consumed most of the contents of her kitchen. I was, however, properly un-shoed.

There is a third observation, except that it is something that I’ve known for some time, having hung out with the Swedes of Siargao for quite a bit. And this is something that, I believe, everyone should know before going to Sweden. To avoid massive disappointment and the need for therapy and such.

Here it is: The Swedes do NOT sound anything like the Swedish Chef on “The Muppet Show****”. I kid you not. It’s like they all missed the memo or something. You’d think they’d get with the program already. Their accents are so unauthentic, I want my money back.

And Swedish meatballs? Forget about it. They’re definitely nothing like this:

I’d like to send a big “tack” to my Swedish friends who made this trip possible and for taking time out of their busy schedules to hang out and share their lives with me! See you in Siargao soon!