Okay, I am failing massively at my attempts at Paleo.

Well, when I’m starving, I’m starving!

I usually try to eat something within 30 minutes of working out. Yesterday, I did the 4:30 PM Plana FORMA class. By 8:30, I still hadn’t eaten, so when they put a plate of battered calamares in front of me at Cirkulo, I had to eat it.

I’m not sure what Rosan’s excuse was but she ate it as well. (She claims to have never gotten off Paleo but I think, like me, she’s relaxed the rules somewhat.)

So, at 2:30 AM, on our way home from a night full of vodka, again, Rosan and I were starving.

I suggested Tapa King. I could order a truckload of tapa (dried beef) and eggs and I would be happy.

They were closed.

“Chili’s”, Rosan suggested. Fine, I could have steak and eggs.

They were closed.

Pan de Manila, which was right next to Chili’s, looked like the only thing that was open at that hour. That’s Carb Central and I swear I was ravenous. I would have eaten a cat. We went in and grabbed things off the shelves and stuffed ourselves.

While we were busy eating everything in sight, an old man walked in. Being in chatty mood, we asked him what he was doing there at such an ungodly hour and, of course, the only thing I heard him say was that their pandesal ice cream sandwich was good.

“Two orders of pandesal ice cream, please.”

I chose the peanut butter ice cream. We had deviated so far from Paleo, we might as well go to hell for it.

Of course I didn’t realize I had to buy the whole freakin’ tub. So I did and then the lady behind the counter filled up two pandesals with the ice cream. Admittedly, on hindsight, it was more than a little bit strange but we ate it anyway like it was the best thing on the planet.

Still massively stupid, “Massage!” I blurted out. Rosan lit up and nodded giddily. We drove to the massage place most likely to still be open.

It was closed.

We decided to call it a night and I went home. Where I mixed more peanut butter into the ice cream and ate some more.

I should just give up, shouldn’t I?