My cousin posted this, ironically (I hope), on Facebook this evening:

Tips to lose weight: 1. Before meals, drink one glass of water to fill your tummy. 2. Bananas should be avoided after meals. It adds to calories taken during the meal. (Heard from an endocrinologist over the radio).

If you’ve watched the BBC series “The Truth About Food”, you’ll know that #1 is untrue and that water taken in before a meal passes straight through your system. You’re better off having soup, which takes time to digest inside the stomach, giving you a feeling of being full longer than water.

Statement #2 is just plain hogwash. Of course, if you ingest a banana – or a piece of lettuce – after a meal, you’re consuming calories. All food, except for water, contains calories. ‘Tis the nature of the beast. Of course, there are some food with “negative calories”, which doesn’t mean that they do not contain calories, it simply means that it takes more calories to consume them than they contain.

But I seriously doubt that after eating a heavy meal, you’ll have a stick of celery… You’re most likely to go for some cake or ice cream.

But stay away from that banana if you want to watch that waistline!

Doh!

And this endocrinologist was on the radio? Damn, I should have gone on air with a phone-in question.

Excuse me po, mamsir, kung kumain po ba ako ng kerots pagkatapos ng lanch, dadagdag ba ang calories ko?
Oo, hija, pero hindi katulad ng banana.
Eh, kung naka-tatlo po ako na KrispyKremeoriginalglazeddonuts pagkatapos kumain, mas okay powh ba ito sa baNAna, sis?
Lecheng pilosopo kang caller ka! NEXT!

Sorry, it’s not as funny when translated into English.

But you don’t need an endocrinologist on the radio to figure it out, do you? If you want to lose weight, back away from the buffet table and keep your mouth shut.