A friend of mine sent this to my inbox the other day:
“Speaking of losing weight… what’s a good way of asking your GF to do this?!! I’m a bit concerned as mine is slowly putting on a bit.”
And the answer to that is: There is NO GOOD WAY of telling your girlfriend that she needs to lose weight. Ever. ZERO. NONE. Unless splitting up is an option, in which case, why bother? Let the next guy deal with it.
The best advice I can give is for you yourself to start making wiser choices when it comes to food (- leave the junk food at the store if you want her to stop stuffing her face), and to start an exercise program of your own. And then invite her to join you.
Although, in my opinion, if she isn’t in the habit of working out now, on her own, then the chances of you getting her into a program and her sticking with it do not look very good.
Especially if you’ve noticed that she is putting on weight and she hasn’t. Truth is, it’s highly unlikely that she hasn’t noticed. She’s just hoping that you haven’t. But her not doing anything about it speaks volumes. And although your saying something might be the reality check that she needs to get her butt into gear, I can’t imagine what you could possibly say that wouldn’t hurt her feelings.
Of course, age (for both men and women) is a factor to be considered, when it comes to weight gain. The higher it is, the more forgiving one should be. My friend is in his mid-twenties so I’m assuming that his girlfriend is the same. In which case, she has no bloody excuse! (Don’t mind me, I’m just jealous and wish I had my 20-year old body back. Please come back!)
I did start gaining a shocking amount of weight in my late twenties. I have no idea what was going on with me or my body then but I, eventually, got it under control. It did take a year or two though. (And I hope that photos of me from that time will spontaneously combust, wherever they are.) But I always did enjoy working out, so hauling my ass back to a gym wasn’t a problem.
Seriously, though, while I don’t watch a lot of television, if there’s one thing reality shows like “The Biggest Loser” have taught us, it’s that there really are no excuses because, yes, the weight can come off. It’s just a matter of discipline and determination. Easier said than done, I know, but the fact remains that it can be done.
At the end of the day, all you can do is encourage your girlfriend by setting an example. If she doesn’t follow your lead, then you still wouldn’t have lost anything because then you would have been eating healthier and exercising more and maybe you’ll end up with better habits and looking and feeling much better than you did. And that can never a bad thing .
Having said all of that, if you do have to say it, just say it. It’s like telling someone that they have something stuck in their teeth, or that they have body odor. There’s no polite way of saying it because, no matter how you put it, it’s embarrassing for everybody all around. Don’t worry, she’ll get over it. As a matter of fact, I think she’d rather that you called her a fatty to her face than you asking another girl’s advice on it.