You’d think that with everything I’ve been doing, I’d look like a goddess by now, with temples and monuments being erected to me in every town. Except that I can’t seem to bring the goddam scale down and I look exactly the same as when I started. (Well, not exactly the same. Maybe a bit more exhausted.)

I am well aware that it’s because of my love affair with food that, for every two steps I take forwards, I also take about two thousand back.

Serendipitously, while killing time before catching that godawful “Transformers” movie a few weeks ago, I went into Fully Booked, the bookstore at the Power Plant Mall, and went straight to my favorite section, the cookbook section. While browsing, I came across “Everyday Paleo” and decided to check it out since the CrossFit community heavily endorses the Paleo diet (Robb Wolf, the author of “The Paleo Solution”, used to be an active member of the CrossFit community). I was leafing through it without any real interest until I came to this picture of the author, Sarah Fragoso:

And then I went to Osaka and ditched my diet and continued to eat my way through Hong Kong. All the while, I couldn’t get this picture of Sarah Fragoso out of my head.

Finally, last weekend, tired of being stuck in a Paula Abdul song, I resolved to give the Paleo diet a try and went back to Fully Booked to get Sarah Fragoso’s book. Unfortunately, there was only one copy left and it was at the Fully Booked store at The Fort. But, on my request, the staff was kind enough to have it transferred to the Power Plant store and reserve it for me.

So while the book was unavailable, I browsed through another Paleo book, “The Paleo Diet”, by Dr. Loren Cordain. In it were lists of what I could and couldn’t have while on the Paleo Diet. I almost choked when I read the restricted list. I had to show it to Ana and Chelu, who were with me at that time. Butter, cheese, peanut butter, bacon, sausages, fatty meat, ALCOHOL.

Jesusmarymotherofgod.

“So what are you allowed to eat,” Ana asked.

“Ummm… Rocks?” I replied. It was the Paleo diet after all. “Let’s see… Emu, elk, bison… I wonder if I have to hunt these down…”

Geezoos.

But I’m detoxing in Thailand next week and plan to read “Everyday Paleo” while I am starving in a plush resort in Chiang Mai and, for now, I fully intend to give it a try and stick with it for, at least, one month after the detox.

But, until then, maaaaaaaannnnnn, I’m going to eat whatever I want.

Yesterday, I went back to the Power Plant Mall to finally get the book. Then went straight to Press for two chocolate chip cookies. From there, it was down to the food court for, um, two Mary Grace cheese rolls, then I sat down to lunch and ordered the rib eye sisig* at Myron’s. (I wanted the one with bone marrow but they didn’t have it.) Afterwards, I had an errand to run in Greenhills so, while there, I stopped in at Krispy Kreme for some coffee. And, er, two original glazed doughnuts.

In the evening, I had a wonderful Italian meal at my uncle’s house that included two kinds of pasta (spinach lasagna and fettucine bolognese), frittatas, and my late aunt’s recipe for chicken stuffed with rice. All bad carbs present and accounted for.

And I want more.

I fully intend to keep up this food orgy until the start of the actual detox. Which isn’t till Monday morning.

It’s only Friday.

My poor, poor boyfriend. Not only will he have to put up with a food-deprived me, he’ll also have one crazy bitch coming down from a massive sugar high. And suffering nicotine withdrawals. If we threw in PMS to the mix, we’d have the Perfect Storm. Even I wouldn’t want to be around me.

*Re Myron’s rib eye sisig (only available,if at all, at their Power Plant branch), I only ordered it because I love anything with bone marrow. Unfortunately, they didn’t have bone marrow at that time. I should have known the dish wouldn’t work. Sisig couldn’t possibly work with beef, especially not rib eye. Maybe if they trimmed the fat, refried it and, together with the crunchy garlic, topped the sisig with it, keeping the beef itself pinkish and succulent…? Maybe. As it was, it just didn’t work. Although it was very flavorful. I would have preferred it with pork. Proper sisig with bone marrow. Now there’s a deadly combination. Drooooooolllll!!!