As the cab was nearing the gym, I pulled out my wallet. I hadn’t seen it the whole weekend, not after a Friday night I can barely remember.

I woke up Saturday morning to find the contents of my bag scattered in odd places around my room. I arrived at my friend’s birthday party close to midnight the night before and I was told that I had to catch up. So catch up I did. I remember ordering at least six double Stolis on the rocks, but I barely remember leaving the bar and have absolutely no recollection of anything that happened after that. (Drunken texts and Facebook posts reveal that I was home after 5 AM.)

I had put off tidying my room since The Night of Too Many Red Horses a week earlier. Not only because I am lazy, but because I didn’t want to confirm what I suspected was true. That I had lost three of my favorite silver rings that night.

Since I was not in any condition to go anywhere during the weekend, I slowly started putting things in their proper places. By Sunday evening, I found my floor. By Monday afternoon, I found my wallet (- it was by the window sill). But my silver rings were nowhere to be found.

Which brings us to yesterday’s cab ride.

As I opened my wallet to pay the driver, I found – nothing. Absolutely nothing. Well, my cards were there, and I had some coins in the pocket, but there wasn’t a single bill. Not a crumpled hundred, or even a twenty. I couldn’t believe it. I had never NOT had a single note in there.

I apologized profusely to the driver, asked him to take me to a bank where I could withdraw money and then back to the gym, where I paid him well.

I hate these blackouts! How the hell did I get home last Friday night?! I don’t mind so much the memory loss because there are things that I’ve been told I’ve done that I am so relieved I cannot remember, but it’s the losing stuff. I’m not sure that I lost any money that night, especially since I do not know how much I had in the first place. It’s my silver rings. The diamond earrings my mom gave me. The compact Nicolas’ mom bought for me last Christmas. And too many other things that have gone missing along the way. (Including my dignity, it has been said.)

Sigh.

Truthfully, I don’t really care. I mean, I’m not really distressed over losing all those things. For some reason, I still think they’ll turn up. Somewhere. Eventually.

Or maybe I’ve just mastered the art of detachment and I am well on my way to enlightenment.

Right.

Okay, I think I just don’t like finding my wallet empty.

So, Evil Twins (Misses Emily The Strange and Bianca Jaeger), could we please just keep it together enough to get home safely and leave enough cash in the wallet for me to, at least, get to where I need to the next day, even if it’s to a bank to get more cash?

Thank you.

And could you please TRY not to forget this?!!!