Okay, the diet has been put on hold till the end of the month.

I just remembered that I went through the exact same thing – almost exactly a year ago. When I started working out with kettlebells. My already-enormous appetite spiked even more and I was constantly hungry and eating all the time. I was shocking even my friends, who themselves have huge appetites. It felt a little bit out of control and I remember talking to Dindo and Fred about it and, if memory serves me right, they told me that they went through the same thing for about two weeks to a month when they started working out with kettlebells. Of course, they advised me to try to rein it in. Yeah, right.

It took me about a month for everything to settle back down. And I wasn’t even doing Krav Maga then.

So I’ll just let my body adjust to all this weight-lifting and increase in activity level then get it together – at the end of February, maybe?

If I sound hesitant, it’s because I suspect that I may be struggling with recommitting to Paleo altogether. Because going down that road means making a lifestyle choice (Paleo isn’t just a fad diet) and I am not sure that I want to be that healthy. It sucked being overly sensitive to food and getting sick every time I had a few chips or some cake. And, if it isn’t obvious yet, I love love LOOOOOOVE food. Yes, even fake food. And I’m not sure that I can give up all the bad stuff.

I guess what it really boils down to is what I want to achieve.

Dammit. I have to have goals. (Noooooooo!)

Sigh.

If I just want to keep myself from turning into the next Good Year Blimp model then I suppose I can keep doing what I’m doing. But if I want to change my body then I’ll also have to change how and what I eat. Therein lies the dilemma. Which do I want more?

Argh!

When faced with a cheesecake, I’ll obviously want the cheesecake more. After I’ve consumed the cheesecake… You get the picture.

My boards on Pinterest are a testimony of how conflicted I am. I have one board dedicated to fitness and then another one devoted to recipes that I’d like to try, most of which involve peanut butter and chocolate, or a whole lot of cheese.

Then again, I’m getting tired of working out and not seeing any results.

But, but, but… Oh, phooey.

Recently, I stumbled on this online:

IS THIS TRUE???

I’ve always known that, to lose even a single ounce, especially as one gets older, exercise is not enough and that one also has to cut down on food significantly. I didn’t think it would be this significant! 70%?! That’s huuuuuuge! No wonder I haven’t seen any changes.

Sooooo… Yeah. What’s it going to be?

Well, for now, I don’t want to stress about it. I’m leaving for Mount Pulag tonight via Baguio and I still do not know what to bring. I have three hours more before I enter panic mode. (Hopefully, I won’t let it get to that. Although I’ll still have three hours on top of that to figure it all out. Yes, I’ve got this procrastination down.) Will leave thoughts of food in my belly for now. I have till March 1 to decide on a course of action.