So far, I think I’ve been good with the diet.

I usually have two hard-boiled eggs for breakfast. Or some scrambled eggs and whatever meat is on the table. I’ve decided not to sweat the small stuff, including nitrates, and have had bacon and longganisas.

Philippine longganisas. I prefer the garlicky kind over the sweet ones, thank you. (Internet file photo.)

Sometimes, I’ll make a green smoothie. I’ll stuff some green leafy vegetables down a blender. Throw in some coconut milk, a banana and a mango. Then I’ll have that throughout the day. According to raw foodists, ideally, there should be more vegetables in there than fruit. Again, I’m not going to lose sleep over details. All I care about is that it tastes good to me. After all, I’m the one who has to drink it.

But the maid already knows not to serve me anything with flour, soy sauce, tomato sauce, or anything with any artificial seasoning. Just salt and pepper. Maybe some vinegar or fish sauce every now and then. She tends to serve me a lot of fried stuff. That probably isn’t very healthy but I don’t care. I like fried stuff.

When I am out, I usually order a steak and a salad. Always with the gravy and the dressing on the side, but I normally just squeeze lemon over the salad and toss in the meat for added flavor. I’m sure I wouldn’t eat the steak if I knew what was in the marinade so I don’t even think about it. Sometimes, I’ll have foie gras with the salad. Yes, I am well-aware that the duck or goose’s liver is fattened with corn but I’m sure the steak I’m having isn’t from a grass-fed cow either so what’s another corn-fed animal?

For a snack, I’ll look for the nearest fruit stand and have some fruits in season thrown in a blender, maybe with some carrots and cucumbers, sans milk or any additonal sweetener.

If you’re thinking that my life, food-wise, has become incredibly boring, you wouldn’t be too far off the mark. But, even worse than that, I’ve become a massive pain-in-the-ass to feed!

I now show up at friends’ houses with my own food! Once, I showed up with avocados and bananas. More recently, I brought a jug-full of green smoothies. Ugh. ** Who am I and where is the real Gai Olivares???**

But I will still have more than my fair share of vodkas-on-the-rocks. I may be on a diet, but I’m not dead yet. Once, Ana laid out some cold cuts and cheese for me, but I opted to drink my calories instead. When choosing between two evils, I believe in choosing the more pleasurable one.

I really wrecked myself last Saturday though and it’s taken me more than a few days to recover. In that time, between passing out and being grumpy, I finally declared one exemption from my Paleo diet. Dark chocolate. (I needed to raise my blood sugar!) It’s a slippery slope I’m on, I know. Peanut butter may not be too far behind. Sigh…

No, I haven’t lost any weight. (Is it any wonder?) At least, I don’t think so. But I do look skinnier. Much skinnier. My face, for sure, and my entire upper body. I must have gained some muscle mass, which would account for the unchanged weight… even if it’s not obvious to me. Who knows? That was the whole point anyway. Not to lose weight but to get leaner.

Will report back on my progress, or lack thereof, at the end of the month.