I’m back in Siargao, Land of the Lost (Internet Connection).

In my last post, when I said that I ended up fattening me up, I wasn’t kidding. I lasted all of two days back on Paleo and had an ensaimada fixation. When the numbers on the scale started to climb, I thought, “Not bad. I like myself like this.” Except that the numbers kept climbing. And then I no longer liked what I saw, but I still couldn’t stop. I was the heaviest I had ever been. EVER. Ugh.

When I saw Nicolas in Cebu, he eyed me suspiciously for some time and then finally asked if I had gained weight. I gave him my brightest smile and nodded vigorously, “Yes, I did!” He frowned at me. “This is the heaviest I’ve seen you.” “Yes, I know,” I gushed. I don’t think he was too happy with my enthusiasm.

“Pah! I’ll be in Siargao soon. I’ll lose it in no time!” I assured him.

Before I left civilization, I rediscovered how to grab videos off YouTube (- if you’re a Mac user, I recommend ClipGrab) and downloaded workout videos that I could do in Siargao. For those days when I can’t be bothered to get dressed, get out, and enjoy the great outdoors. Which, in truth, is every day.

I had big plans: I’d learn to do double unders, do proper push-ups, challenge myself with 40 days of Kundalini Yoga. But then I remembered I was me. Soooooo, this week, this is what I’ve done.

Monday:

• Jillian Michaels*’ 30 Day Shred, Level 1 (- I’m using a mega-sissy weight too: Two kilos. Phooey to you too!)

YouTube

• Swimming: 20 laps (1 lap = 16 m. x 2)
• One Paleo meal. A few shots of Patron XO and beer till I forgot my name. Lots of cigarettes. Once a week, right?

*Okay, I had never heard of Jillian Michaels until last week’s YouTube harvest, but she seems to be okay. So far, anyone should be able to do her “Shred, Level 1”. I like it that she breaks down each exercise to short, managable segments (e.g. two minutes of cardio would be 30 seconds of jump rope, followed by 30 seconds of butt kicks, then repeat), and that the entire workout takes only 20 minutes.

Tuesday

• Zero exercise.
• Two non-Paleo meals. Mojitos and wine. Lots of cigarettes. Doh!

Wednesday

• Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred, Level 1
• Swimming: 20 laps
• One Paleo meal.

Thursday

• Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred, Level 1
• Swimming: 20 laps
• One Paleo meal.

Friday (Nicolas’ arrives.)

• Zero exercise.
• One Paleo meal and one non-Paleo meal. A bottle of wine and a few beers. Lots of cigarettes. Oops!

Saturday

• Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred, Level 1
• Swimming: 20 laps
• One non-Paleo meal and one Paleo meal. Half a bottle of wine. It was a 2008 Batard-Montrachet Grand Cru, mind you!

Sunday

• Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred, Level 1
• Swimming: 20 laps
• One Paleo meal and one non-Paleo meal. FIVE crepes. Gaaah! I’m blaming PMS!

So far, I’ve lost three kilos. I’m still over my regular, acceptable weight, but that isn’t really a surprise, is it? Sigh…