I hadn’t noticed that Napo had gotten old until someone mentioned it. Napo? Old? Wasn’t he just a puppy? I thought maybe the fur around his face was bleached by the sun. Surely, dogs didn’t get white hair. Even he thought he was just a puppy. He always wanted to play. He’d still chase after chickens and birds. And then collapse from the effort.

November, 2012. Napo, wanting to play with Rosan’s golf club.

He was also losing a lot of weight. He looked emaciated.

April, 2013. My last photo of Nicolas and Napo. You can see how much he’d shrunk. Napo always tagged along on the course and Nicolas’ golf buddies have said that golf won’t be the same without the big guy.

After my trip to Europe, I was planning on returning to Siargao and stay for a few months. My Number One Mission was to take charge of Napo’s meals and fatten him up. But I ended up staying in Manila for a month, supposedly to lose the weight that I had gained in Europe. I ended up fattening me up.

And Napo ended up wasting away.

I knew that we didn’t have much time. The average lifespan of a Great Dane is seven years. Napo would have been 12 in December.

I stepped up my efforts in Manila to find a new Dane. I wanted Napo to meet the pup, to show him around, and maybe toilet train him because we didn’t know how to do it. (We’re still not sure where Napo went about his daily business, because we never smelled or saw it. Except for when he joined us on our morning walks – and then he’d poop and pee in wild abandon on everyone else’s lot but ours.)

April, 2010. Napo, on one of our walks together. Whenever I’d stop to take photos (yes, after all these years in Siargao, I still take photos), he’d cool himself in the water.

After waiting through unsuccessful matings and weeding out scammers, I finally found a male pup in Bohol. I didn’t exactly have my pick of the litter. It was the only male left from a litter of nine. And he was a merle mantle. (Genetically undesirable, we were to find out later.) Nicolas and I wanted a blue-black or a brown one.

But I wanted to see him anyway. I had two days in Cebu before heading for Siargao. I could easily do a day trip to Bohol.

And then, last Tuesday, on the day that I was leaving for Cebu, Nicolas called, distraught. Napo had passed away early in the morning. I was too late.

Now, here I am in Cebu, with a new puppy. (I couldn’t leave for Siargao last Friday because animals aren’t allowed on Cebu Pacific’s small plane. One of our staff will be taking him on the overnight boat to Siargao tomorrow.)

And, tomorrow, I will be in Siargao where my baby lies underneath a patch of grass facing the sea. Nicolas told me the staff marked his grave with a stone. They carved his name on it, misspelling it with two "p"s, and the date he died. We are touched by their love and this act of kindness.

I’m not sure when this was taken. But this was Napo at his prime. He was a good Public Relations Officer for the resort. He made the rounds of the breakfast tables in the morning, planting wet, sloppy kisses on everyone. Whenever anyone went for a walk on the beach, he’d trot along with them. He kept us all entertained with his antics. And, at night, he’d keep watch.

This is the nth article I’ve tried to write about Napo, and I’m still failing miserably. I’ve been trying to write about him since September last year. There are drafts littered about my computer.

But what can I really say except that my wonderful, amazing giant has gone to sleep. I wish I had been there to kiss him goodnight. I wish so many things…

Me and my baby.

I’ll miss his jealousy and brattiness.

October, 2012. Napo couldn’t understand why he had to be nice to our pet hornbill.

I’ll miss his goofy ways and how he always made me laugh.

May, 2010. Napo with a ball left behind by one of the guests.

And I never thought I’d say this but I will miss his Napo smell.

April, 2005. Goodnight, my crazy baby.

On Tuesday, exactly one week after Napo’s death, I will welcome my new baby to his new home. His genetic disorders are already apparent but, despite the raw start he’s had, I hope he’ll have a good life. I hope I can do right by him this time.