My May Paleo Challenge was a total disaster.

At first, I was doing really well, and I finally – FINALLY – learned how to manage failure.

I was always about the small victories and catastrophic failures. I’d celebrate every baby step but, as soon as I stumbled, I’d make sure that I fell loud and hard. No longer. Because May was my birthday month – and Nicolas’ too – I allowed myself small pleasures like a slice of birthday cake and maybe a bite of whatever took my fancy, but no more than that, and I immediately went back to doing Paleo straight after.

The same applies to eating.

But I gained weight anyway. (I got up to 57 kilos. Eek!)

Perhaps I was allowing myself too many small treats? I don’t think so. I guess swimming for an hour every other day while I was in Cebu didn’t cut it for me. And I was in Cebu for almost a month. Also, I was cooking everyday while I was there – and I always cook too much. Which means I was also eating too much.

Fuck cleaning but, yes, I wish it would manifest itself in a desire to do something more productive than thinking up food that I can melt cheese or chocolate on, not salsa.

And then I discovered Tymad. That French bistrot in Cebu that became Nicolas second home for a while. All my resolve came undone as soon as I tried their pain au chocolat. I swear I resisted and resisted for as long as as I could but, when my Paleo Challenge came to an end, I crumbled.

And then I didn’t wonder why my weight plateaued. I didn’t really care.

Happiness is a freshly baked pain au chocolat. Or four. (Internet file photo.)

One morning, before Nicolas went diving with some friends in Mactan, he asked me to put together a breakfast bag from Tymad for each of his dive buddies. In each bag, I put one croissant, one pain au chocolat and one pain au raisin(actually, cranberry). Everyone loved it! One of Nicolas’ dive buddies’ family owns a worldwide chain of luxury hotels and he declared the pastries some of the best he’s ever had. Ever.

****So can you really blame me for falling from grace?

But since I’ve gotten back to Manila, I’ve gotten back to doing Paleo. (I restarted last June 11.) I must say that I’m doing pretty well, apart from one tiny, little cheat meal last Sunday – but I’m no longer sweating the small stuff, remember? Except that I don’t believe in cheat meals, let alone cheat days, especially where Paleo is concerned so, no, that won’t be turning into a habit.

I’ve finally lost a little bit of weight, especially now that I’m back to doing more vigorous exercise. I’m now at a respectable 54 kilos.

And I’m still having a lot of fruit, dark chocolate and alcohol. They help keep my moods on a even keel. Okay, not the alcohol. Alcohol is the reason why I need the fruit and dark chocolate to keep my moods on an even keel.

Har.