Well, if I was in ketosis, I definitely kicked myself out of it last night – and made myself massively ill.

I went to watch BFF, Joel Trinidad, in Repertory Philippines’ “The Graduate”. Whenever he’s in a play, no matter how small the part, if I’m in Manila, I have to watch it. Unless he says I can skip it, in which case I know he’s sparing me from something really, really bad. Because if it’s just bad, I still have to watch it.

(One time, I flew back from Siargao to Manila, for one night, to catch him in “Avenue Q”. Because it was the Christmas season, the next flight to Siargao was booked up. We were still running the resort at that time and I had to get back because I had guests flying in. I took the long way home. If I’m not mistaken, I went via Cagayan de Oro. I took a plane, several buses, and a ferry. Oh, and the only buses I could catch were the non-airconditioned buses, because the air-conditioned ones were already booked. It was mad. But well worth it. The show was outstanding and one of Joel’s best.)

Anyway, back to last night. With less than 10 minutes to show time, I was starving and looking for something low-carb that I could eat. I couldn’t find anything. I rushed over to Healthy Options and found a “no-gluten”, low-carb “no-added sugar” chocolate. I chose the “mixed truffle selection” and ran back to the theater.

In the dark, I started to eat my way through the box. The first one wasn’t bad. A bit too milky for my liking, but not bad at all. The second one tasted like coconut, not my favorite thing, especially in chocolate, but I ate it anyway. Then I came to one that tasted like a toilet. Okay, no, it tasted like mouthwash. Cheap mouthwash. At this point, you’d think that I would have stopped. Nope. I kept thinking that there might be something better in the box. Later, I got to the other truffle that tasted like radioactive mouthwash from Cheap Town and, still, I ate it. I started feeling ill. I sat up in my seat and fidgeted. I twisted and cracked my fingers, I massaged my arms and the back of my neck. (If ever you see me tense and fidgety, it usually means I’m fighting off an anxiety attack.) I drank water. Then I drank again till I ran out of water, which made me even more anxious. I couldn’t get the cheap mouthwash taste out of my mouth.

Eventually, the lights came on and Joel came out to get me, and the anxiety disappeared.

We went to a restaurant where I ordered chicken fajitas, without the wrap. I had two slices, and then I was done. I seriously couldn’t eat any more. And then I felt even more ill than I had earlier. I thought it might have been the cheese in the fajitas or the cream that I was dabbing on it… Seriously, I only dipped the end of my fork into the cream and dabbed the fork on to the chicken. It was such a minuscule amount that I didn’t think anything of it. I had about ten billion times more cream than that on the cake that I had less than a week ago, so I wasn’t worried.

Until my belly rumbled. It was time to go home.

When I got home, I was very sick. I’ll spare you the details but, it’s the day after, and I’m still sick.

But the metallic taste in my mouth is gone and I’m not drinking water as if I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no carbs, so I figured that if I was in ketosis before, I’m not anymore. Which is fine. I was at 52.8 kilos again this morning. While Joel said that I don’t look too skinny, nor do I look haggard, I still don’t think I should be losing any more weight.

I’ve been trying to read up on ketosis, but I seriously can’t. I will – at some point. Just not now. Hopefully, before the real experiments begin, when I finally have my Ketostix. (So I can know for sure if I really am in ketosis.)

From the little I’ve read though, apparently, if I want to stay in ketosis, I shouldn’t have any cheat days. But that there is a day – or even a weekend – when I have to “carb-up” to feed my muscles.

Yeah, right. I hardly lift any weights!

And, if I understood correctly, I’m still supposed to get all of my carbs from vegetable sources, not from sugar or fruits.

How boring is that?

Whatever. I’m not a body builder. I’m a failed anorexic. I’m going to have a cheat day because I miss enjoying my food. Okay, not a cheat day, but a cheat meal. Better? And that’s going down today. Thank you.