I’ve been in Cebu since Sunday. Unsupervised and PMS-ing. Which means that I’ve been to three different Japanese restaurants since I arrived, and that I haven’t met a red velvet cake or cupcake that I haven’t eaten. (I was never into any of that red velvet nonsense until I had that beautiful slice of cake in Goa and now I’m obsessed with finding another cake – or cupcake – just like it. I have to confess that I am very close to losing my faith in cupcakes and cakes in general.)

As I write this, I just finished a pint of Blue Bell chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. I almost wept when I got to the bottom of the pint and there was no more ice cream to be found. But I do have a chocolate chip ice cream cookie in the freezer. (Had.) And some actual chocolate chip cookies. And a box of chocolate-covered cornflakes. And a massive jar of Nutella. And … well, let’s just say that the contents of my refrigerator may put me – and a small nation – in a diabetic coma.

These are sooooo goooood. (Internet file photos.)

Now, please excuse me while I sugar-crash.

Let me leave you with my recipe for a kick-ass bacon-and-cheese sandwich:

• 2 slices of bread
• 4 slices smoked lean bacon (- I got a whole slab from a deli this afternoon and had them slice it for me. They sliced it a bit too thinly for my liking. Thick bacon slices are always better. For sandwiches, at least.)
• slices of cheese (- I used the cheap, yellow American cheese, even if I have Gruyere and Fontina in the fridge. Why? Because I love that stuff! Put a lot of it in the sandwich. You want it thick and gooey when it’s melted.)
• butter

Cook bacon in a non-stick pan. While the bacon is cooking, put some mustard on one side of one of the bread slices, then butter the other side. Butter both or just one side of the other slice. (I buttered both.) When the bacon is cooked, remove it from the pan but leave the bacon grease in the pan with the heat on, reduced to low. Put the piece of bread with mustard, mustard-side down in the pan and sear it very quickly. Remove it from the pan onto a plate, mustard-side up, and quickly pile, first, with cheese and then the bacon. Season it, if you wish. I didn’t because I thought the bacon and cheese would be salty enough, but it actually could have used a bit of salt and pepper. Then put the other piece of bread on top of it. (If you only buttered one side, the buttered side should be on the outside of the sandwich.) Return the sandwich to the pan and brown the buttered sides of it while using a spatula or whatever it’s called to squish the sandwich together. Enjoy, and thank me in the morning.