The last two weeks were a disaster of epic proportions. Which, quite predictably, means I am back to epic proportions.

I hate myself.

And everyone else.

Well, that’s because I had to come out of hibernation and be social, isn’t it? The boyfriend was in Manila (hence the big hotel breakfast buffets), a friend in distress called (hence the two large pizzas with extra cheese)…

Another friend insisted I attend a media launch, then I was long-overdue for a visit to my mom’s sisters in Tarlac, then I arranged a lunch for Alan at Niu, then a friend flew in to visit, then I got roped in to an all-night wine fest…

And, now, I’m in Cebu to visit the boyfriend.

HIBERNATION FAIL.

I know, I know! I know I can’t live in a vacuum. It just goes to show that I am incapable of functioning as a rational human being in real life.

Then three’s my mom who is perpetually cooking my favorite foods – and there are quite a few of them – because that’s what moms do. She and my dad will be out the whole day but, because she knows I (‘m supposed to) only have lunch, she’ll have the maid heat up a dish that she’s prepared especially for me. What’s a daughter to do? There really is nothing like a mother’s home-cooked meal… And my mother’s meals require a lot of rice. Mixed with a lot of potatoes.

Or maybe that’s just what I tell myself.

Please pass the shovel. And, no, I’m not PMSing.

And then my 60-day passes at Curves and barre3 were up.

I miss barre3 and wish I could keep doing it. I almost want to stay in Manila for a year or two just to keep doing it. I love the music. I love that the teachers have different styles so that even if the routines might be similar, they’re never totally the same. And I especially love what barre3 was doing for my legs and butt.

Was.

Curves was an excellent complement to barre3. While I would totally recommend it to anyone new to exercise, or to those looking for a program that is both manageable and sustainable (- it only takes 30 minutes after all), I don’t think I would ever go back to it for the following reasons:

1. Their music was driving me nuts.

Seriously. I couldn’t sleep one night because it kept going off in my head and I had a panic attack thinking that it would forever be stuck there. I mean, really, how often can you listen to a guy whine, “Why’d you have to be so ruhuude?” Ugh.

I got another girlfriend to sign up at Curves, and she and I tried to get them to change the music. She succeeded once, but they put on “Livin’ La Vida Loca” and reverted to their old playlist as soon as she left. Even if I was still working out. Talk about being so ruhuude.

2. And, yes, the purple theme was getting to me. Eek.

But, hey, if you don’t mind the same goddam music playing day in and day out and messing with your head, and if you aren’t put off by that saccharine shade of purple, it really isn’t a bad workout.

So, now, I’m at Beyond Yoga in Libis, trying to get used to yoga again. I try not to work out later than 2:30 PM, mostly because I don’t want to get stuck in rush hour traffic on my way home, and the first yoga classes that I did with them that fit my schedule left me feeling that I didn’t do much. I only felt that I got a really good workout last Thursday, when I did three classes in a row: Ashtanga, Mat Pilates, and Anti-Gravity Fitness. Not that I’m any good at any of this. Not at all. If there’s anything in the world that makes me painfully aware that my body is skewed, it’s yoga.

And, now, of course, every fiber of my being is screaming for a massage.

Anyway… I’m back in Manila tomorrow and heading straight back into my den. In less than two weeks, I’ll be back out there again and hibernation will officially be over.